My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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