I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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