Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
3pm strippers are depressing
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
