I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
