that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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