If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
