I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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