Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
