The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
