Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
