I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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