Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
