The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
God, I missed his penis.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
