i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Also, beer. Big fan.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
