i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
