I want to walk on stilts...naked
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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