I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
