Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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