You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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