My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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