I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
i now understand why vodka
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
