You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
