well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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