I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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