OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
