Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
