just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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