and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
