$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just want nice things and good sex
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
