Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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