I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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