East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
