im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
