If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
