last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
