love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you inspire me to be a worse person
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Randomize
