Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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