And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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