It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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