I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize