i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Randomize
