As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
