there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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