There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
