I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
