how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
