That's intense
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
