I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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