i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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