Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
