I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
