BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
