brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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