mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
