ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
