can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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