we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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