I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
