oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
