Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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