People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
