I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
