I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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