I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i dont even know how to be here
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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