in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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