Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
